Lala Zninya taneglust

Afulay, Massy, Yulyuz 1999

Teggawer imi n ccigh, ar tssidîn (compter) itran gh igenwan s tdûdin n tefassin nnes ijdren s umlal d isennan, igh tull adâd tesmun ids izêri, teskrekc (dire à mi-voix) kra, ur yukiz urgaz igezzulen, ilsan yan uqeccab izzefen iggawren gh tama nnes zun d adekkur (idôle), s imi, tessufsen ger tedmarin nnes mdanin, sellawnin zun d asghar n unebdu (l’été), tadd dax i ixef tddem ifessi, gwent wallen, igwez unfus agunes n turin nnes. Tamayyurt tefssus, imik n tufawt lli tesmendl f umlal werraghen, ijdderen, ur tezmzer (disperser) tillas n yîd, tireqqa dîn d mdden s berra, mekli d dînt igherdmiwen d ibexxucen yâden, kra n taqqurt isdiden ar d tekka dârat iferghan n yaggugen s imik ccigh, ad tinit agwal, negh d tazzît, îd n unebdu iffugh s kaygat zun d tiwririn nit n tnezruft (les collines du désert).

Zun d azemz ad agh tgudjun (décamper) mdden s illi gh llan imula d waman, illi gh tender taqqurt n mdden d iywalen (animaux), mac yan d ar ur illi man, nex yan umêzn imaniwen (âmes) nnes gh kran udghar (endroit), meqqar iqqen tilluna n tugut (espaces vides) f idmaren nnes, ar ittghama izzidêr s kra sul dars ighaman n tfasa (force), nex ar tent issa gh usya (calme) n ugunes nnes igh ta ur ittut s tayti igguran n tgudî. Meqqar d inerzaf (visiteurs) ur ar ttigguten ussan ad, ur illi kra n lmaàruf (festivité) mad as en itteggan adâr ad rêzn asya iqquren n ccigh ad, zdin akw gh ussan n tgerst d taledrar; kra rzêmen tayerza, kra qqent is, yaggur d unebdu i tekrura (magie) n îd d ussan ghezzifnin n umuklu ddaw umalu n iferghan nex iàegmmiten llasnin.Nettan nit ur issen ma ttid yiwin s udghar ad, lligh ttid yufa ad ifka aklu (couleur) i umuddu iggawer tama nnes ar tt ittmatar (contempler), idrus magh ittenmuggur ixef nnes gh man yâden ur igin ihawacen nnes, zegh mad ifel tawja (famille), ifel tizrigin zwarnin n tudert nnes ad imlalli gh uluy (errance) ar isiggil man ur igin amalu n umudder nnes amenzuy, tazdayt (oasis) ihêlucgen gh ufsaw irmin n tniri (étendu fatigant du désert) yekka, tekk t s idêrfan ghbanin (profones) n umarg d uzulal (absurde). Ar ittinig afella n iman gh tadêfi itterwalen n tilit (existence) ; amud netlen idâgwen n tudert, ddaw tserfin (silos) llasnin n ighir akuyas (quotidien). Nettat, tgrres (gelée) mnid nnes, ur ar t tesmuqqul, ur t gis tiwi, ur temyar ad trar s yan, kigan ad tekka tezug gh ccigh ad, ur sul tkweti man adêrf ttid yiwin, ur sul tkweti is ra tt yawi kra n yan yâden, tezug f uzwag, tqqen tassebnit n tallest f umesdul (devenir) nnes, igh is sul tferk (être consciente), ar tezzâd azulal n wass s tgudî iqquren d uraren mmghinin gh tmuktit (mémoire) nnes zun d afar (herbe). Ur ifaw nettan nit mad en tkwsa gh igenna negh ed gh ufsaw n tîtt, isaqsa yad fellas kra n inerzaf drusnin lli izuzwan azal ad gh umalu iseyyan n ccigh, ur tt ssen, rad inix ur d iwin f mad tegga, ur ssen amer is tega yat temxlawt jlan ttid igharasen, tghama ar teggerru ussan nnes zwanin ger ifessi, urar nex tazît, mad ttirir, mad d tezzî, mad tesiggil ur t ssnen ?

Isaqsa t mad tegga, tizwuri ur as trur, tghaman gh umater nnes ur ilin awettu, txzer gis turri ad terar i twerut n izêri nnes imuddan zun d marur ; îd izdây fellas, ifessi inerra t, iswangem yad ad ikcem ad igen gh yat gh tmêsray n ccigh, mac iksûd, tggez tismmi i tiddi lligh t ismaggel yan gh inerzaf ad irar s Zayna, inna yas ar ttenkcam, tghi ad as tghêrs igh teccayen s unufel llit iqqayen, ur issen magh rad yamêz, iz d ayelli gis ikwesa nettan, negh d ayelli yas qqisen wiyyâd, imyar yad ad idder anefruri zun d wad gh idgharen yâden, asurs n tghawsa (état de la chose) ur djun inmala d ayelli fellas qisen wiyyâd ; mad jjun tengha ? Ur isella i yat, iwaliwen ar temuddun, mettad is illa kra s as yad isella, s yad kkan ineghmisen nnes izughar staran tiwririn aggugnin, iggi n uyya, metad is tega ghemkan fellas ulsen wid inmaggar zik ad, sul ur akw issen ayt man ad gan, is tt nit ssen negh d uhu, negh d is ka usin f udem lli zêran gh imexlawen, ur as tt adjen mdden ad tensa ar teklla gh udebni usin s ulawen nnesen zun d arraw ;

meqqar d udem nnes ur gis ighweri aqejjar (férocité), taxecni, amerdukku idran (violence profonde), zgêd n tenghi (rage du meurtre), idra gh usya, izddeg ifessi nnes (silence clair), mlulent timdla lli tid ittezzan tiklit ar tayyâd ; mac mad yaghen Zayna, man adêrf ttid ilûhen gh umalu inuflen n ccigh ? ittyagal s tekrura n uhawec nnes, tefssa sul, ar tessa tasaddamt n itran, izrigen nnesen gh tallunt n igenwan d wadû ; gh tidet ifessi igh idra ar issiwid, mac ar isenfruruy tiremmanin n iman, ur en ijjeg gh iswingimen izdâren ad ilumes (accuser) Zayna, isem ad lli mu isella dar inerzaf n uzal, ur ighi ad ur ifles s ijiwjiwen n ugunes nnes ; ur en ighama nettan nit gh ughbu n ifessi n Zayna, asya n wallen nnes, tizedgi nnesent, takrura usin izmumugen nnes igh d tdul negh igh en trur ixef tekcem tulagh n iman nnes, ur ta tri ad is tsawel, mac tghi sul, tghi ad tsuref imnaren zganin n ujuhcu (ne pas prendre en compte) nnes ;

isaqsa yad ixef nnes zegh tayelgi lli ittareg attân i wawal n Zayna, mamenk ad itegga usyafa n yan imatêlen gh unufel, anufel igan mennaw, ur d wad s flsen mdden is t yeg, wad issâden gh tisit n tmuktit nnesen ur ilin adêrf, tilit zun d akerrac (ride), Zayna igmer tid yad ur tat issen. Ikweti ass ibdâ d tesmunt nnes, yan îd, ighwera yas ad sun yan lkas gh yan lbar myaren ad is teddun igh kcêden azâzu n ussan, negh timidi (usure) n ulawen d imaniwen sghren izrigen zwanin n tudert takuyast, inna yas, ur issen s man tiguriwin, s man urar , lligh t tesaqsa is tt yera ; righ kem urta nenmaggar, righ kem yad gh uhawec (hallucination), ghilad gh as neman ur sul ssenx mamenk as kem righ, mamenk ar ad teg tad ur igin tin uhawec, d mamenk ttegan udmawen igh tend yuru uhawec i tizi. Tenker, tfelt, tegûdi, tefra ayelli teswa, tfelt ad ifru ayelli iswa nettan, ur yukez yat, mac, ighwera gis is en taggug, is sul ur iwin yan udâr, tazekkat an, tera ad as tetter ad as issurf (lui demander pardon) acku ur tukez tiguriwin nnes îd izrin, maca isghel yad amuddu, igh igadj ur ar d sul ittedul s tmizar iffal, s wanziwen isers i wadû ad issird taghufi n udmawen nnesen, s ilmuten tsat tafukt ar ten tejdder gh igran n wul nnes d tmuktit. Zegh mad yusi s iman nnes ibrin timitar zdâynin n uluy d ugadj ad imnaway umuddu d ughejdim gh teglult n uzemz nnes, gan yan, ur issen man agwemmâd n wasif gh sul ttidun idâren nnes. Ur djun tt sul izêri, tghama teg gh wanzaten n ugudju nnes irruran, irdlen zun d igherman n umiyyen. Magh inmaggar Zayna, man ahawec ad as ttid ifkan ? Man igr gh iman nnes agh yad ilûh amud an ? immagh ad ikweti ihawacen zrinin, iwengimen, ur issen man agw ad as d inna :

- Zayna !

Tdul d ar tdêssa, asemrgha n tîtt nnes gh tmayyurt ifaw, tini yas :

- Ar iyyi taqerrat s isem llis iyyi aqran mdden, ur ssenx max ad ur rin ad issan is yyi gan ineglusen (anges) isem yâden, nettni ar iyyi aqran s Zninya, mac ur iyyi ikkes yat ad iyyi aqran mdden s ayenna ran, tamukrist nnesen ayan, ur iyyi issiwed, kraygat taghawsa tettâf sin udmawen, yan intlen, d yan smuqqulen mdden, walli smuqqulen mdden ar irekku, wad intlen, win ineglusen, win igenwan d win wakal, kra gan, d kra s ufan f mdden, f umesrda n urgh, d ufulki, ad gix, nettan agh idra ufulki, agh tedra Zninya, mayan ad tt yegan, ad iyyi igan, as suggerx darsen, wid ran, wid gan gh ulawen nnesen, gher iyyi s ayenna trit, s ayenna k d yiwi imik nnek, ur ar tkrêdt amer afella n udem n tghawsiwin, udem irkan, win mdden, win tizi, win uqejjar n umlal ad issâden, nekki ur ssenx s kra yâden, ur felsx s kra n thânut yâden mezzîyen gh ittili ccigh, ssenx ghar s ayelli yyi gan ineglusen, ineglusen inu, willi yyid yuzen rebbi zun d lanbiya, ad iyyi qqeran mdden s ayenna ran ur ar iyyi izemzzîy darsen, darsen gh igenwan nex akal, ar izzizwigh udem inu…

Tdulen dax, tekcem ifessi mad yad tsmed yan uzmumeg s tessus awal lli mu tsella, awal irkmen, awal n kraygat ass, ad ur izzerîz tafelsa (croyance) nnes ; ad ur inegh tudert n ineglusen gh ijiwjiwen nnes, tesat yan urar ghezzifen :

Imik a yega ddahab issêhkem kullu f lmal

Imik a yega zzin yega as mulana tissent

Immagh ugelif lhêrb ar yakka limurat

Asin igêdad amud ar ksan ikerwan

Tissent n ulegmâd a yesutîn amawal 

lhênna ur ar ijder ixsan d is a ghwemman

ar ittezayad abughlu i teàyyalin

Ur d kullu ikweti mad as rwasen uraren n Zayna lligh tsat ar ttirir, tanana tmmezr i teswak mmutlnin n tnezruft ar tt ittinig ar tefssi gh ifessi zun d adfel. Iz d Mas lligh tejjawen (rassasiée), negh ed nettat azemz lligh tellûz, urar n dar uzerg, adû n ugguren irksen d tmmara n lâz d temmara n ussutel. Ira ghas ad imnad menck ad imyagal ugrêd n Zayna, Zninya, d ugrêd n Mas mu isella lligh imezzîy, d tnana n wallas nnes igh ar as tesawal f izmaz n lâz, d ukettay n Lala Zninya ed yusi gh ughbalu n Teznit zun d anebuqq n ccigh ad nit negh wayyâd. Ikcêd gis urar tall Mas igh tella dar uzerg, tekka ten sul mêzziyen, nettan d gwemas lli fellas imeqquren, lli djun sul ur izêri zegh mad ilsa timelsit n id bu wamar ilumes t is ur yeg gwemas acku yunef tighula ghalen is tent kwerzen, nettan d ismun nnes gh uxlu nnan yega win rebbi, igh yeg rebbi amekraz amezwaru n uxlu fssun mdden zun d tamurghi i tghula irufan.

Yules ifêz i uraren n Zninya yales ifêz i ukettay n Mas, ar ittemnad timelsit n Zayna gh temayyurt, teslullid yan waddal aseggan i ixef, trzêm f tdemmarin isellawen gh tsemrgha yat tfilit n uzêrf, ur issen mad as tt ifkan, acku anaw an ur ar ittenza gh tseggiwin an, igh d yucka, timelsit nnes tesmer, tellan s isemran (couches), kraygat tasga d ayenna yas telsa, ur ar testay, anna yas fkan mdden teg tin, inmala yit d tmazirt, nex d ugdal n ccigh negh uhu, anna tufa telst, gguten nnit i tirghi yad. Mac is tghi Lala Zninya, Lala Zayna ad tesyafa tirghi n unebdu negh asemmîd n tgerst, ar ka tesguduy iberdan zdâynin, kwelanin, mennawnin f tiddi nnes yamumen, zun d igh as tega tiddi tasenduqt magh tffer ihdumen nna f ur telkem, ha mad as fkan Ayt lgherb, ha mad as fkan irumiyyen, ha mad as fkan ayt tmazirt, igh tuckit, ghar gh tmelsit n Lala Zninya agh rad tissant idgharen lligh ed tackan inerzaf n ccigh ad. Max mad yiwin ajjawen d lâz s urar n Lala Zayn, tekka ten Mas, tizi nna tezzâd agguren umlil negh wad ijjan, nex isengaren n ibriyen, ar asen ttales mas inem usekti n uzerg ghakudan acku ur qqelent thêlgin nnesen s ayelli rad ed ilûh uzerg, zik, tekka ten, nettat d tnaka nnes, ar teddant s igran, igh dêrent tayedrin ar d smmunent tid dêrnin, senfrurin tent, awin tend, zêden tent ad sul gent tiremt n wass an, mamenk ar ad teg tiyyet n izîd an innurzen agguren irufan, ur d ikweti uyya amer gh ddaw uklalu n uggurzu n Zayna lligh tekcem takrura n urar, ar tezday nex ar tebbi tiyeffarin imyar nettan gh tassefifin d isuyas, tiyyet terwas tin Mas, mac aggurzu ikcêd gis asyafa n lâz, lâz n kra meqqar yega ghas win wawal, win uzemz, nex win usyafa nit, is telûz Lala Zninya awal, tellûz asyafa, mad kullu tugel i tmuktit nnes tder i ifessi zun d annudem? Max za ad ur tri ad is tesawel? ; isaqsa tt nig amater mad as tega Lala Zninya n Tiznit ; tekka kigan fad ad gis tzêr, terar as, s kra ur yeg amer adjar n tmrarut acku ur sul tezdi attân nnes d idêrfan n wawal :

- Lala Zninya n Teznit, ur ssenx manigh d tucka Teznit, mac lligh t tennit, lligh ka tbdert awal ad, isem ad, yak tssent mad ak nnix, tfawt mani s idda wawal inu, igh ar sul ittemuddu, rix ad ak inix, igh tega mekan s tennit keyyin, igh tega Zninya, acku ismawen ad ur gin win mdden, ur ar ten teggan mdden i wiyyâd, ur ad teg amer tayyawt n igeldan, win igenwan, ineglusen, wid ittêfen iman nnex d tiddi nnex ; Lala Zninya n teznit, itent keyyin, tella kra n yat yâden ur akw ssenx, rad t inix i uneglus inu îd ad igh d irûh, idrus igh tid iwint tillas ar dari, mac ur ar en ittematâl, yega zund ayyur, ur beda izdagh imi n igenwan, ar ittedda yurri d, ar ittezug ikcem d dax aghwelal nnes; Lala Zninya n Teznit, mar ad iyyi teg iz ed tanaka nex ed uletma, ur ssenx man taghanimt yuman ili nnes;

Tadû dax urar nnes

Ayyur d itran ka ad ur iffaghen igenwan

Masan akw i tiddi n wasif awin agh

gin...;

Tefssa kigan, ar ttenghmus gh yat tsgerst tugelt, terkuka, tdêlu s tiregt n irkan lli fellas illan, tdî yat tanast iqqbren, ur issen yan menck ad dars tekka, ar gis tesmuqqul, ar tt tekka s ixef n udâd zun d igh tera ad tarem tallunt, tawi gis tiyyet n urar lli d tenna, lligh as ighwera:

- Lala Zninya!

Tedul d, fawen d wallen dârat tamayyurt, ar semrqiqqiyent s imettâwen fssusnin, tini d:

- tghwer it iyyi s Lala Zninya; mad ak innan awal ad, iz ed ineglusen inu an dark ikkan, nnix nit ur d dari zrin îd ad, ur ssenx mani kkan, mad asen in ittêlen, zigh d keyyin ad slin, tatan gh ugharas, mad asen tefkit s wawzzwit, mar ad ak inix, ur dari mad ak ttinix, ur d akw ffugh f wawal, ur akw yadli fellas llix, ur gix anaw mad ikkiten awal, mac lligh ak mlan ineglusen isem inu, lligh k stin ad didi tessart imik gh tillas mu qqenx tasebnit nnesent kigan ayad, iqqan ad ak inix nekki kra yâden, ur djun t nnix i yan, meqqar d i ineglusen, acku ur ak lkemx f ad asent inix, ssen felli kraygat, ayelli yakw ur ssenx f ixef inu...

Ibbin gis wawal, ar ttemnad itran, d tallunt n igenwan d wakal, tanezruft takrura yad n yîd ad is izêlin, ifaw îd s temmara n uzal, yasey afulki nnes idel is izmulen dranin n tasut, ar ttenghmus i tanast, ar tt ttehêllil, ttermend kra n imettâwen i udem nnes, ar semrghan, skren aklu n uzêrf n ill ddaw tifawt n wayyur; igh d tegrawel imik, tegrawlen tekcem i unnudem nnes idran, kigan ad en tekka f ad gigi texzer, tezmummeg, nex tgudî, ur aden ttamt man adêrf ttawin ineglusen n Lala Zayna; mas d ffalen izenzâren n udem nnes, iz ed tadêsa, iz ed imettâwen, iz ed tagudî itteccanen, ur ad thîyyelt kra n waddad i imussuten nnes, zun d igh teggawert gh imi n unzig ur tssent mad gis izdaghen, ighama, iskubber, ar issa kra d yaddumen gh tfiras nnes, nex gh wawal nnes n tmitar urta zdâyent f unli nnes gent igilem ur ilin afus:

- Tzêr it tanast ad, lligh sul gix taàeyyalt ad iyyi tt ifka baba amghar urta immut, ifka yyit lligh ar sul nettsqqar nekkin d tengga nu gh tama n tefrawt, inna yyi, iglin, amêz tanast ad, ffer tt gh illi darem intlen, gli sis arzeg nnem, ar kigh tlûht aginan n tayri nnem s illi trit, tzêri tt, sul ukan dari tella, ur sul ssenx mamu tega d man aginan rad sul akwix; kkix ten ila yyi yan urgaz iddu, yili tayyâd, ghamax d, ur ssenx mad iyyi iskren kra, mdden ur sul manen d watigen, ar ka sul zuzzurn s wadû nna ufan, ar jellun izemuzzâl i wanna nit yeran ad ten yasi;

ibbin dax gis wawal, tdêr d f ifadden nnes ar talla zun d kra n tazzant, ar tender zun d ill isyan, ur issen mar ad isker, man Zninya d sis iflen tiklit ad, tkcem i tnedra d imettâwen, titrit n zik tgheli d d imi n igenwan lligh as tenna:

- Had tanast ad regx ak t (offrir), regx ak dids akw lêhbbat n tudert inu, igh tufit aginan mad tkwetit tekwit ad ur terar tamadirt s tghwemmirt illasen.

Ur d yiwi f ixef nnes, ur issen man agw ad t yiwi idês, lligh d inker s iznezâren n tafukt ijddren ad yufa Zninya teqqur ukan sul s idês f iggi n ifadden nnes, tadd i tanast f i iggi n ufus nnes.